I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
