i just made my gag reflex go away.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
