so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
