were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
