You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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