wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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