I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
