dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
