a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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