Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
