hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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