What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
