I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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