Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So many bounce houses so little time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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