i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Even my vagina gasped.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
