I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
