i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
time to smoke my breakfast
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
