Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
