I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
