We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
