he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
