Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
