I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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