my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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