It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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