God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
