4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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