Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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