Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
