STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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