I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
