she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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