I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
