Do you still have your period?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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