this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
