Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I could fuck to npr.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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