I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
