Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
