i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
this just has baby written all over it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
