But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
