Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
