Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
