Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
