i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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