Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
