love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
