So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
