I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
