Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
