I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
