yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
