Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
