Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
