The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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